ted alexandro
written by Ken Carlson (Mar/Apr 07)
“Your job is to make people laugh. If you're not making people laugh, especially when you're just starting out, you're not going to last. Comics get more leeway ten or fifteen years in with success. They can try stuff out. The crowd will let them because they know who they are. Maybe they even start to do more social commentary. I never want to get to the point where the laughs are too far apart, because I'm a comedian. If I'm writing a blog, saying these are my thoughts, that's one thing. For this, people are coming to a comedy club so you have to make them laugh.”
The job of stand-up comic is one that Ted Alexandro has held for going on thirteen years. Along the way he’s made his way onto just about every television stand-up showcase including ‘Letterman’, ‘Conan’, ‘Kimmel’, ‘Dr. Katz’, and two ‘Comedy Central Presents’ specials (2001 & 2006). Along the way he’s had to pay the price for his success and endure the labels cast on him by those in the industry like, ‘One of the nicest guys in comedy’, ‘Smart and relevant’, and ‘One of the most talented comedians out there.’ Perhaps endure isn’t the most appropriate word, but I dare you to go out and find someone to say something bad about the guy. 
“I was teaching in Queens for the first five or six years. Once I started making enough from comedy, I left teaching.”
“I don't know that I thought ahead too far. I was just doing what I had to do at that moment. I was teaching kids during the day and telling jokes at night. Once I left teaching, there was this whole new vibe where I was a professional comedian. This was how I was paying the bills. I didn't have anything else sucking my energy, like a day job. With every step, once you start getting better credits, you start feeling more legit. It comes in stages.”
“Up until recently, I've been taking piano lessons. I studied it in college. My sister's a singer. Occasionally I'll accompany her if she's performing in a café or something like that. I dabble in jazz, but I don't think I'm good enough to call myself a jazz pianist. That's why I left. I was studying jazz piano my first three years at college, but I was so overwhelmed by the talent level of everyone else, I decided I couldn't make a living at it. I would play with other students, but there were so many who were better than me. I would practice and practice for hours every day, 8-10 hours a day, for the first three years. I took the third year off to study with a teacher. After that, I decided it would be too hard a life for me because it wasn't my thing.”
“I've been playing piano since I was six. I was always playing in school concerts, stuff like that. Then I got into theatre in junior high school, high school, and college. I was always comfortable on stage. It was never an issue. I like performing. I like being around like-minded performers. Musicians are usually pretty bright and dry. So, it was kind of a natural fit. A lot of comedians are musicians, like Steve Martin, Woody Allen, Bill Cosby, and so on. Maybe it's a timing thing, but there's a lot of overlap.”
“I had started out at City College studying jazz. Then I switched to Queens College. I was an education major there, but I liked theatre and was doing sketch comedy. When I left, a buddy of mine and I started doing two-man sketches. It was a good way to get used to doing open mics here in New York, getting comfortable with the scene. But it was also giving it a shot to see what happens. We were a little naive. We probably thought after a few good sets, we'd be on ‘Leno’. About a year into it, I started writing just for myself. I think, in a way, it's easier because you don't have to run it through another filter. It was great experience. I was used to the scene. I was used to everything. The only thing that was different was that I was doing it by myself. It was a little weird at first. Being a musician, I think I preferred being alone. As an actor, I miss the collaborative effort. But, in comedy, I enjoy the independence.”
“I've become more comfortable on stage. When I started out, it was almost like I was reading the jokes. The connection with the audience was somewhat lacking. I tend to write everything out ahead of time. I got better at making things more conversational.”
“For me it was a natural evolution of getting more comfortable as a comic, more comfortable as a person. A pivotal thing for me was 9/11. I felt compelled to talk about it. With the Bush administration in office, there were so many things that were galling to me, that they found their way into my writing. A lot of it wasn't funny, at first. So, I found the things that were funny. I became a little more political. My topics became a little more broad, as opposed to just being about me or about life.”
“I remember the first night getting back (on stage). I hadn't done anything for two weeks. It was at Gotham. I was supposed to perform on the week of 9/11 and cancelled. It was out in Iowa, or something. I remember the feeling that night at Gotham, this feeling of good will. It was probably that way all over New York. People just wanted to get out and laugh. They wanted to get away from the news. The crowds were really hungry for a communal experiences”
“The last six or seven years, that was what was on my mind. I couldn't keep putting it aside. The job became, ‘How do I make this funny?’ Someone else may sit down and that stuff might be the furthest thing from their mind. When I started out, that was probably me. I didn't have the desire or the skill to do stuff like that. I developed that as I went along. It's a function of getting older. A function of youth, is that you want to kill on stage, rock the room. I want every comic to hear the laughs in there and know I'm killing. As you get older, you realize that's not that important. What's important is doing what's funny to you, staying true to yourself, and pushing yourself to do stuff what you want to do. At any stage, it's important not to think to far ahead. When I was 25, I thought I was great. Then I hit 30 and found you get more humble as you get older. You're never a finished product and never have all the answers. When you're young, you're hungry to establish yourself.”
“I tend to write word-for-word. I'm very careful with the wording of stuff. Then, I'll play around with it afterwards. For me, an idea that's funny is very specifically worded. How I get into it or approach it may differ. But once the joke is done, it's done.”
“As I get more experienced, I get more comfortable with silence or pauses. I was always relatively comfortable with them. Now, especially when I'm trying to set up an idea, I don't always have to get a laugh on every line, especially when it's going somewhere. I learned from watching great guys like (Greg) Giraldo or Dave Chappelle, guys who take their time. The audience is going to listen to you if you're good. You don't have to panic.”
“I've had a couple of bad shows recently that rank near the bottom. I had a marine at one of my shows that was really drunk. He was heckling me for some of my political material. I tried to deal with him repeatedly in benign way, but since security wasn't doing anything to help, eventually I got into it with him and said, 'It makes perfect sense. Now we can see why the situation in Iraq is so fucked up.' Finally, security walks him out, I started humming the Marine Corps Hymn (The Halls of Montezuma). The situation was out of my control, clearly not what you want to have happen. It just ruined the show and the vibe.”
“At another show, there were two girls in the front row, a black girl and a white girl. They took exception to some of my racial material. They sat through the whole show with this sourpuss look on their faces. I addressed them a couple of times to try to break the ice. They sat there the whole time and got up at the middle of my closing bit. I found out later that they wanted a refund because they thought I was racist. Luckily the club denied them.”
“A bad gig at this stage of the game is when an incident occurs. A bad gig when you're starting out is when you have a room full of people not laughing at you. You get beyond it pretty quickly if you're going to stick with it. If I'm doing bunch of sets in one night, I'll think about it in the cab on the way to the next one. But the great thing is, it's a clean slate every time. I don't really bomb for whole sets anymore. If I'm trying some new stuff, sometimes that stuff won't work, but I don't go through entirely bad sets anymore.”
“Ted has a reputation for being one of the best all around comics in New York. He's original. He works hard. He also has a reputation for being one of the nicest guys in comedy.”
– Pete Dominick, comedian
“You have to make subtle changes for corporate or club shows. A lot of the time, it will be written in the contract, as far as language or content. I used to resist that when I was younger. I thought, 'They can't tell me what to do. I'm an artist.' Then you realize, if you're doing a corporate show, you can still do your material, just not these jokes. I had to learn how to play within those rules. Luckily, I have enough stuff that's broad so I can fit it into any scene.”
I met up with Ted prior to a set recently at the Comic Strip. It was a cold, icy evening and the crowd was small but hearty. A few had grabbed their coats before his 10pm slot because it was a school night. Ted took the stage dressed in torn jeans, worn Timberlands, and a paint-covered hooded sweatshirt. When he showed up, I thought he was there to help me move.
His pace that evening was very patient, conversational. He did a lot of current events stuff; gay bashing in the NBA, intolerance in general. Fairly heavy stuff, but delivered in very relaxed way. By the time he returned to his older standards, with an act-out of the Backstreet Boys, the crowd was all his.
“It's interesting. I think it goes back to that communal experience. On those nights, where they're coming to the club, it's more the club than the comic. Maybe some of the more savvy comedy people will have looked online or seen if their favorite comic is there. Usually, it's a date, an easy date. But it is interesting that people have come to hear what I have to say.”
“I perform regularly in six or seven clubs in the city. They don't mind the local guys playing different clubs hustling around chasing spots.”
“There's a weird drawing together of elements: all the people in that room, when in the evening you go up. You could be the first guy or the last guy. You could be going on right after they got their checks. Maybe five people get up to go to the bathroom. Maybe the comic before you bombed or did really well. There are so many factors that go into the energy before you go on that stage. A lot of it is out of your control. I think the job of the comedian is to do the best you can with where you're at – because sometimes my heads not in it. I'm not focused. I'm tired. For the most part, you work with what's there and roll with it.”
“I'm not a household name by any stretch, except maybe among comedy fans. There are people who enjoy my comedy. I haven't done anything at that next level, like a TV show or movie that puts me into that next category.”
“I've seen it in some of my contemporaries. They'll get on a show, get some credit and you see an air bordering on arrogance. I don't blame them. We work so hard for so long that when you get something, there is a natural inclination to enjoy it a little bit. But, I don't think that should be your goal. Your goal, or perspective, should be on the long term. Whatever comes up farther along the road, I mean, look at Lewis Black. The guy's in his mid-to-late-fifties, just became a big success in the last five years. I'm sure he had his peaks and valleys. You just keep going and going. Who knows what the next thing will be?”
“It varies according to what stage you're at. When I was younger, I would do as many sets as I could on every night. The most I did in one night was eight. My first set was around 8, and I just went around the city every half hour until two in the morning. I was hopping in cabs all night long. I don't think I could do that to myself now. Now, it's unnecessary. If I'm working on new bits, I'll do four sets at the most. I don't need to exhaust myself. Now, I do between seven and twelve sets a week.”
“For the longest time, I didn't have anybody in my life and didn't want anybody. It's such a singular mindset. In the last couple of years, I've been dating more, looking around, been more into it. I always thought it would be an imposition or big adjustment, but it hasn't been.”
“It's a struggle in that you're alone most of the time. But, there is the community of comics that when you're working with a guy or girl in a new city, even if you've never met them before, those comics are your friends, to varying degrees of course. The reality is you're alone in a city that, most times, you've never been in before. Over the years, you start to make friends with the staff, people who have seen you a few times. Over time, it develops. Initially, it was a shock going from being a music teacher to being on the road in Idaho.”
“Fortunately, I'm established enough here in New York that I can get work here at most clubs. I go on the road for one week a month and I supplement that with the occasional college gig or corporate show because that's where you get better money. Luckily, I'm home about 70% of the time.”
“I think Ted is one of the most talented comedians out there. I am so proud to have someone like Ted on my roster. Ted is very specific and very calculated. There’s only certain things he wants to do and try right now. That’s the challenge of Ted, mining out the opportunities that he’s going to respond to now in his career to help him move forward. Ted is one of those comedians, that when you speak to other comedians, he is one of their favorite. Ted makes me laugh. I’ve heard the same jokes time and time again and he still makes me laugh.”
“I’ve said to him a million times, ‘I wish you would give me more to work with, more to do. Tell me what you want to achieve. He’s very specific about what he wants to achieve. He’s incredibly creative, very spot-on with impressions and characters. We’ve been trying to find a way to create a sketch show around him and his material. If you listen to Ted, he creates these characters on stage, like the hulking guys at the gym who look like giant flightless birds. How do we put a visual to what he’s saying? Animation? Potentially. We sold the idea originally to Comedy Central as a show. Now we’re talking to them about doing it on the internet or maybe pitching it elsewhere. I’d actually like to film some of those sketches and show them to the networks who may not know him like Comedy Central does; to show them something special, so we can move forward with it.”
– Rick Dorfman, manager
“I knew Rick for the longest time. My first manager was Jeff Sussman. He had some bigger guys like Kevin James and Joe Rogan, so I felt lost in the shuffle. Once I left Jeff, Rick contacted me. Eventually I signed with him because I had known him and because he was Giraldo’s and Judy Gold's manager.”
"I got my manager relatively early in, about four years, on the recommendation of another comic. I was really naive about the business. I was just doing sets, happy to be on stage. I wasn't looking at the big picture. Once I got a manager, it opened doors to playing the road, which at that time was Jersey & Long Island. It also opened doors to more paying gigs."
"Comedy Central just passed on a pilot I was working on for the past six months with my buddy, Hollis James. He and I wrote this pilot. The next stop will be to shop it around the other networks."
“I always felt that if I want this to be my career, I have to treat it as such. I have to be doing it every day. I have to do all the things to establish myself in the field. Even if I wasn't doing sets, I was going into clubs to watch sets. I would come here (Comic Strip) and just sit in the back and watch. You come to a club and say, ‘I'm a
comic, can I just sit in the back and watch?’ Most nights, if it's slow, the manager will let a comic in to watch. I took the approach that this was my job. Every day, be in a club. That's your office.”
“I would watch guys like (Dave) Attell, and the ease he would float back and forth between crowd work and material. He was always so quick and smart. Guys like Todd Barry; you learn different things, like how to find what your thing is. When I say Attell, Chappelle, or Todd Barry, you think of a specific type of comedy. That's what you learn by watching them.”
“How you move up is by continuing. For me, my goal is continuing to write. I've found that the better you are as a comic, the more things come. I try not to lose sight of that. Comedy is the foundation for everything that comes.”
“There is a different code of conduct if you're working in the downtown rooms, to have a sheet of paper (for referral) if you're working on something. In mainstream clubs you see that less. The bigger guys, like Chris Rock, may have one if they're working on a new bit. The audiences of the downtown rooms might be more forgiving of some of the trappings of comedy. When I work those rooms I'm aware of that.”
You rarely hear the terms organized labor and stand-up comedians in the same sentence. However, one reason that Ted is so well respected among his peers has to be his work a couple of years back with the Comedy Coalition, an informal organization designed to raise pay for working comics in New York. “If it's needed, it's there. It was needed two years ago because the money had not changed in about fifteen years. It's not like we meet every month, but we know it could be just an email away. It came about because six years ago, there was a lot of talk among comics that the money was low. It hadn't changed since 1985. I wrote a petition and got a hundred comics to sign it. The money came up ten bucks. It was a success, but a small one. A few years ago, Russ Meneve called me. He's a contemporary of mine. He and I started together. He said he wanted to address the money issue again and wanted me to do it with him. I was reluctant because it took so much effort the first time. But, he was gung ho about it, so I supported him. As we went along it became a bigger and bigger thing and I am totally committed. We have close to 400 comics on our mailing list. It's not that structured. It was more or a principal thing. Will you recognize us as a group? Will you hear our concerns? We felt we were not being heard, even ignored by certain clubs. There was a strength in numbers that made it work.”
“Ted is one of the strongest comics out there. He is one of the few that blends amazing material with strong performance skills. His material is smart and relevant and he's constantly working on something new. Then, his acting out of the bits takes his comedy to another level. He's just great to watch.
– Jon Fisch, comedian
Ted’s CD, As Much As You Want, was recorded in 2003 and serves as one of the best examples in recent memory of showing the transition or transformation of a professional comic. It clearly shows the direction that Ted’s material has taken, from the young, likable teacher with crazy kids to the Bush administration and the debacle of war. There’s bit on abortion that takes out the audience at the knees, as well drinking-buddy stuff about holidays or going to the gym. As you might expect of someone who used to practice piano 8 - 10 hours a day, Ted’s diligence and eye for detail enhanced the quality of this debut effort. “I recorded my CD and DVD at Flushing Town Hall, an historic 300 seat theater in Flushing, Queens. I wanted two things; ‘do it myself’, in terms of producing, funding and putting it together, and to record it at a venue other than a comedy club. So, I contacted my friend who worked at Flushing Town Hall and rented the theater for a Saturday night. I sent out emails to my mailing list and did some press in local papers publicizing the show and it sold out. I contacted another friend who worked in television production and hired him to do a three camera shoot. My hope was to shoot something on par with a Comedy Central production, since I had done a half-hour special and wanted to simulate that type of atmosphere. Clubs can have distractions that theaters don't, like waitstaff walking around, drinks being ordered and/or spilled. I felt that a theater would bring it up a notch, providing a nicer venue with a bigger stage. Theaters allow you to work a little bigger and utilize the space.”
“My only rule is, ‘Do I find it funny?’ I have stuff that's political. I have stuff that's social. I have stuff that's just silly. I try not to put limitations on myself. I like all different kinds of comedy. I don't feel I have to limit myself as being just ‘the physical guy’ or ‘the political guy’. I try to do things I find funny.”
To find out where Ted is performing or to purchase his CD, visit tedalexandro.com.